AI doesn’t have feelings. AI doesn’t need you to say “please.” AI doesn’t need to be told twice. AI doesn’t mind a raw, blunt imperative command.
The problem? Your coworkers do. And the people around you do.
I’ve noticed something concerning lately. As we get used to “prompting” machines to get exactly what we want, we’re beginning to speak to our teams with the same transactional coldness.
We’re optimizing for efficiency but losing our humanity.
A prompt to an LLM might look like:
“Write a function that validates email addresses. Use regex. Return boolean.”
Efficient. Direct. Perfect for machines.
But when that same communication style bleeds into how we work with humans, we get:
“Need the email validation done. By EOD.”
No context. No acknowledgment of competing priorities. No “please” — because we’ve trained ourselves that pleasantries are wasted tokens.
When you speak to a subordinate, you aren’t entering a prompt. You are building a relationship.
Being a leader hasn’t changed just because our tools have. You still need to:
The best prompt in the world won’t get buy-in. It won’t inspire someone to go the extra mile. It won’t build loyalty that survives hard times.
I worry that we’re losing skills we don’t realize we’re losing:
Small talk isn’t waste — It builds rapport. It surfaces context you wouldn’t get otherwise. “How’s it going?” before a request isn’t inefficiency; it’s relationship maintenance.
Politeness isn’t weakness — “Please” and “thank you” aren’t wasted breath. They signal respect. They acknowledge that the other person has agency.
Patience isn’t outdated — Machines respond instantly. Humans need time to process, to ask questions, to understand. That’s not a bug.
Here’s the insidious part: prompting AI gives us immediate gratification. Ask clearly, get a clear response. The feedback loop is tight and addictive.
Human communication is messier. You might:
This ambiguity feels inefficient when you’ve been training on instant-response systems all day. But that ambiguity is where understanding lives. It’s where trust is built.
| Prompting | Leading |
|---|---|
| Commands | Requests |
| Expects compliance | Builds buy-in |
| Optimizes for speed | Optimizes for trust |
| Treats recipient as tool | Treats recipient as partner |
| Measures by output | Measures by growth |
| Transaction | Relationship |
I don’t have this figured out. But I’m consciously trying to:
Pause before speaking to people like I speak to ChatGPT — Is this how I’d want to be asked?
Add context even when it feels redundant — Humans aren’t stateless. They work better with the “why.”
Use names — “Hey, can you…” is a prompt. “Hey Sarah, I could use your help with…” is a conversation.
Express gratitude explicitly — AI doesn’t need thanks. People thrive on it.
Allow for dialogue — Instead of “Do X,” try “I’m thinking we should do X — what do you think?”
The irony isn’t lost on me that I’m writing this post using AI tools. I prompted Claude to help structure these thoughts. The machine doesn’t care that I said “please” in my prompt.
But the point stands: the skills we use with machines shouldn’t replace the skills we use with humans. They should complement them.
Prompting requires commands. Leadership requires connection.
Let’s not lose the finesse, touch, and grace that humans deserve in the workplace just because we spend all day talking to bots.
The most important API you’ll ever work with is the person sitting across from you. And that API has feelings.